I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
