So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
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