Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
