I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
