So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
