just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
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