I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
