And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
