How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
