But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
