Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
