hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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