I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
