In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
