she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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