Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
