her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
you would pick up someone in the library
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
