would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Randomize
