I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
