question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
