It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
