i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Randomize
