Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
