He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
