it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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