Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
