break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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