sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
