Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
