Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
