grandma shit on top of the toilet
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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