when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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