Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize