I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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