He asked to "fluff my boner.."
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
