you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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