He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Randomize
