Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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