Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
