I will die if light touches me.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
