I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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