Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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