He told me they were just razor bumps!
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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