come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
did i just pee glitter
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
