Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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