Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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