Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I have already put on my inside pants.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
