brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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