Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
