i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
