honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
