A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
He told me they were just razor bumps!
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
