All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
