HIV tests are more positive than that guy
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
