the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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