oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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