the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
