i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
