better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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