My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
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