Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
