Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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