it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize