I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
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