Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
