It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
