He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
