why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
