I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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