from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize