I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Randomize
