found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
