If that was your dad, he is hot
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
