Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
