Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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