I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
