I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
