i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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