We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
