Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Ketchup is God's man juice
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
