We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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